Hillary Clinton Jumps Shark, Seals Fate

So I was watching Hilary Clinton speak out to her supporters and she said that if elected, she will "take the oil companies profits and stick them in a fund for alternative energy development" because she is sick of how much money the oil companies make. Oil companies, pay attention to this- HIRE ME! I will make sure that not only will you still make money, but the government won't "take" your legally earned, duly taxed, profits away to fund competitive forms of energy. This is not to say that I don't encourage other forms of energy, but oil is there, why not use it? Let's bleed the only income source for the middle east dry and then we won't have to deal with those fucks ever again as they will be not only obsolete, but BROKE! My plan is simple: Clinton wants to take away your profits. Profits that are already taxed. Here is the solution-don't make profit. Break even, or better yet, go into the red. Do what airlines have been doing for decades. Make it look like all of your money is in the decline and you are struggling, then make Clinton's government 'bail you out' so that the industry doesn't collapse. Easy as pie. The money is still there, you just allocate it in a way that is reflecting a loss or break even. Then Clinton can shove her socialist ideas up her own ass (which is where they originated) and will look bad for trying to take money from a struggling industry. Keep in mind, this is MY idea, so if any of you oil companies pulls this shit in the future without my consent and satisfactory compensation, I WILL FUCKING SUE YOU. I think you will agree it's a good plan. The alternative is to use those massive profits to lobby everyone you can to make sure that cunt hilary doesn't get elected as that would be a sad day for the world.